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Ass Smoothie
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Ass Smoothie

(Review Updated: 10/03/2007) (Reviewed: 08/17/2007)
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Yes, you read the name of the site correctly. Pornstars and cute amateurs are asked if they are willing to mix up a fruit smoothie, pour it into their ass... jump around to butt-mix it better and then drop it all back into a glass so they can drink it! Ass Smoothie is not like anything you have seen before.... even in your dreams!

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Ass Smoothie Review
Ass Smoothie is the best site on The Hardcore Network. That says a lot because the list of Included Sites on the right side of this review also includes some of the highest scoring sites ever reviewed by TheTongue. Members get access to all of those sites along with this one for a monthly membership fee.

The whole network launched recently and already AssSmoothie has 80+ video updates in its archives and hundreds of hours of exclusive video offered network wide!

As for Ass Smoothie itself, the site is actually designed to be the most twisted game-show you have ever seen. Super-hot chicks are recorded as the interviewer asks them if they would be willing to drink a smoothie on camera. Every chick is up for it at first... but as more and more of the truth is revealed, fewer and fewer continue smiling and nodding along.

Watching these sexy girls get totally disgusted and say "NO!" as they imagine what it would be like to make an Ass Smoothie is almost as much fun as seeing a girl say "Yes" and getting to see her go through with it!

When you see a new update, you don't know whether the star is a smoothie girl or not until she answers the questions during the interview. The tension as she squirms in her seat and you don't know which way her mind is going to go can be intense!

When they do get a smoothie girl on Ass Smoothie the whole episode will have you unable to decide if you are supposed to be jerking-off or laughing your head off. The simple answer is... try to do both!

These scenes are offered in 1920 x 1080 resolution. That is not a typo. That is by far the highest resolution and clearest sharpest clarity available anywhere on the web today. You can watch these movies full screen on your monitor with better picture quality than HDTV! The picture sets are in 1000x700 resolution and the site also includes a members only message board along with a lot of other bonus features.

At least take a look at the trailers on the site tour to get an idea how sharp and lifelike these videos are. It's amazing clarity and it's even more amazing that Ass Smoothie is the site pushing the technological envelope a step ahead of all the other smut sites and Hollywood movie download sites on the market today.

The two major drawbacks of Ass Smoothie are that the videos are not long enough. Some are 15 minutes long but you'll be laughing and laughing and wishing these movies were at least an hour each. The other drawback is the site does not yet offer updates starring people from your personal life who you always wished would drink fruit and yogurt out of their own asses! How fucking great would that be?!

This is one of the most extreme, disgusting and yet hysterically funny websites you will ever find. Ass Smoothie elevates fringe-porn to an artistic level and is sure to be a niche classic talked about for decades to come. At $34.90 a month it is well worth the price when you consider the video quality and all the included sites with 100s of hours of original video - updating at least 20 times every week... this is the best bangs you can get for your porn bucks when it comes to exclusive content.

If you do not join this website you will not see anything like it anywhere else. Ass Smoothie is truly a one and only type of experience. The Tongue strongly recommends you take the tour and consider the full access $4.90 2 day trial. It is not a limited trial like other sites... for less than 5 bucks you can see what the site has to offer and once you are satisfied renew for the monthly membership if you like.

Ass Smoothie Summary
These are trained professionals and you should not try making Ass Smoothie type drinks at home unless you are a licensed proctologist(even then, it's probably not a great idea). That being said, if you don't like Ass Smoothie it's because you are dead inside and your sense of humor has perished.
Ass Smoothie Comments You must Login if you wish to add a comment.

Comment by KeesterStyle:rating: 94
Hahahah Funniest Site EVA!
19:10pm 10/05/2007
Ass Smoothie Porn Review Scorehelp

The Tongue says 'AssSmoothie is more than a porn site. It is a whole new genre of adult entertainment!'

Quality
100
Updates
91
Exclusive
100
Interface
95
Support
98
Unique
100
Taste
98
Final
97

Ass Smoothie Included Sites
Ass Smoothie97
I Love You Mya93
I Love You Celeste92
Swirlie Girls91
Pornstar Solos90
Stop The Camera90
I Love You Madison89
Golden Hardcore88
I Love You Melanie88
Pornstar IQ87
Fuck My Flab84
Her Last Fuck84
Please Be GentlePreview
The Hardcore NetworkPreview
AfriHoesPreview
Cum Is GoodPreview
Attack My AssPreview
Nasty Raw SexPreview
Chopstick SlutsPreview
Chicks Fucking ChicksPreview
Only The BiggestPreview
Ass Smoothie Detailshelp
Porn Niches: Ass to Mouth, Exclusive, Extreme, Felching, HD
Membership: $34.90 Monthly
Preview: 2 Days for $4.90
Cross Sales:
None help
DRM: Not Used
Fresh Porn: Weekly
Download: Unlimited
Dial-Up: Optimized
Adult Pics: Over 1,000
Porn Videos: 86
Video Size: 1,920 X 1,080
HD Porn
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Score
StrokeKing08-16-088.6


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